The
Sixth Precept of Buddha states, "Do not maintain anger or
hatred. Learn to penetrate and transform them when they are still
seeds in your consciousness. As soon as they arise, turn your
attention to your breath to see and understand the nature of your
anger and hatred and the nature of the persons who have caused
your anger and hatred." Have you ever noticed that anger is
contagious? It grows and spreads one person at a time, like a fire
gaining momentum, until it is so hot it is out of control? And
each person you meet seems to feed off of it. Where does it all
come from? Is it a moment for everyone to unload the internal
baggage? Could the single incident that you got angry over in the
first place fuel all this hate?
Maybe anger has another ingredient…pride. Stubborn pride. A
friend and I (someone I consider a close friend) got caught up on
an issue from different perspectives. We each had our own opinions
of how the incident came about, and why. It quickly erupted into a
shouting match. But, this fire wasn’t fueled by hate, because we
don't hate each other. It was fueled by stubbornness. A
stubbornness that refused to let either of us listen and
understand what the other's point of view even was. In the first
sentence my friend had a position, anything I said was pointless,
because in her mind she was right…period. Her only effort was to
convince me of it. When I didn't agree, she got upset. For my
side, I wasn't upset because she disagreed with me, but rather
that she formed her opinion before hearing my point of view.
Friends
should be able to respectfully disagree, shouldn’t they? Who
made the rule that says you have to agree or fight. Our pride dug
in and without understanding the logic of the other person's feelings or
viewpoint, or discussion of it, wasn't an option.
The next morning I woke up in a very disturbed mood; I was angry!
Something I hadn't experienced in some time. I work very hard NOT
to react to things, but rather to think through them. I failed
here and it was bothering me. Moreover, I could not get the issue
out of my mind and I carried it with me all the way
to work. Waiting by the elevator, I turned and inadvertently brushed
into a woman standing next to me. She took offense. I immediately
apologized. She got extremely upset with me and started making
nasty comments. Again I apologized and suggested that she lighten
up. She not only continued her verbal assault, she became more
aggressive with every word. "If you have pent up anger,
please do not take it out on me," I suggested.
She
got into my face almost yelling at this point and I felt an
uncontrollable surge of anger come from deep within me. The exchange
escalated as we entered the elevator, and throughout the ride,
until I reached my floor. As I stepped off the elevator I heard
her mutter additional obscenities as I walked away. I stopped to
catch myself. How pointless was that, I thought. I didn't even
know that woman. So much energy expended, and for what? I was
emotionally drained from the exchange. Did she have deep seeded
anger in her caused from someone else? Was I merely the target to
unload it? Adn what was my excuse? I had none.
I
had spent the better part of 20 years learning to control my
reaction, to not react without thought. To take things in, then
decide how I want to respond to a situation. This day, my primal
emotion kicked in and I was taken along for the ride. I didn't
like it at all. It takes a willingness to "think" rather
than "react" to a situation. And yet in a destructive
way instant impulses seem to be briefly more satisfying.
"I
told her off" But who cares, what did I get from it? What
damage did I cause? In any practice, whether it be Zen, Yoga or
any other meditation, NOT reacting takes practice and conditioning
to achieve inner stillness of the mind. And, it is in that
stillness when things become clear. This seems to be at odds at
what our society teaches us. So we have to "un-learn"
what comes natural. Everyday you can see people yelling at each
other, honking their horn, and for what? Because "in
someone's opinion, someone else did the wrong thing, or better yet
didn't do the right thing by them? We are all thinking animals,
and as such should cherish our ability to do so. To succumb to
reaction without thought is a disservice to ourselves and those
around us. Anger and hate are just other words for disrespect.
Copyright
2002 - All Rights Reserved
